How DoYou Do It?

People used to often ask me how I was able to get so close to tiny insects for my Macro photography. Today is the first time that I'll reveal my secret technique. You have to talk very nicely to the little bugger and always make an offering of some of your blood.

Who?

Hold On. I Think I Found It!

I Just Traded Up!

The Test

I took an online life expectancy test the other day. I found out that I've been dead for the past three months.

I Call it Home

Pretty Scary. Huh?

Brad Pitt; eat your heart out.

Shut Up and Feed Me!

UP, Up and Away!

Honda

A few decades ago Honda Motors had a slogan that said, "Honda. The car that sell itself". It was used in print media and television ads. At that time I wondered: If Honda is the car that sells itself, then why do they advertise?

Sittin' and Sunnin'

I Gotta Crow. Cu Cu Cu Cu.

Watching Paint Dry

Okay! Here we go! It's 11:57 AM here in David, Panama and the temperature is a sunny 77 degrees as recorded by the Yahoo Weather Center. For the paint we've chosen ColorKote Indoor/Outdoor Spray Paint. Color white. Our surface will be a CD Jewelbox which appears to be for most intent and purposes non porouse. For viscosity and dryness evaluationh we have a wooden toothpick, round with pointed ends. Since this is our first event, we haven't line upped any sponsors so it's all commercial free.

12:02 PM...shaking the can. The Jewelbox surface has been sprayed and there's a cirular glob of paint in the middle.

12:04 PM...Other than a slightly unpleasant sort of perfume like smell, there appears no change as yet in regards to the viscosity of the paint.

12:08 PM...A definite puckering around the perimeter of the orb and a change in color quality froma gloss to more of a flat finish.

12:10 PM Aha...The puckering is rapidly increasing. Our toothpick viscosity test shows a sharp increase in the hardness of the paint both in the outer and inner portions of the paint. In another minute or so we'll do a scratch test to further determine dryness. (Betcha Albert Einstein never did high end science like this).

12:14 PM ...Continuing to pucker but it appears at a slower pace. The paint still has wetness to it.

12:18 PM...Entire orb is now puckered. My heart is pulsing with anticipation.

12:20 PM...Entirely puckered and our toothpick-o-meter shows the paint to be gooey and still not dry.

12:28 PM... Totally puckered and flat finished but still not totally dry. However, it shouldn't be long now.

12:32 PM... The toothpick-o-meter is still able to pierce the surface of the paint.

12:34 PM...Still tacky.

12:38 PM...Darn this is really taking a while to totally dry!

12:44 PM...I should mention that for expediencey I only used one coat of paint as opposed to the recommended two coats prescribed on the can. And...this sucker ain't dry yet.%$#@*&.

12:52 PM...The toothpick-o-meter can stand on it's own pointed end when inserted into the orb. Further examination also reveals tiny amounts of paint on the end when removed from the orb. A further indication of lack of complete dryness.

12:59 PM...THAT'S IT! TOTAL DRYNESS HAS BEEN ACHIEVED IN 57 MINUTES! WHAT A DAY! WHAT A DAY! OUR REMOTE CAMERAS ARE SHOWING ME SCORES OF PEOPLE AT THE KENNEDY SPACE CENTER GETTING UP FROM THEIR COMPUTER CONSOLES, HUGGING EACH OTHER, LAUGHING CRYING AND KISSING! WHEW!

No Image

It appears that Googles server isn't in the mood at this time to upload photos. We'll try later. But remember: today is the inaugural Paint Drying Event.

A Good Day for Bug Pictures

See a Slideshow

If you want to see these photos in a larger side click on the photo on the left and you'll have a slideshow to wile away the time with. It only took me about forty tries to figure out how to make that thigamabob work.

It's All in the Details

Boredom

The most debilitating part of boredom is that you can't stop and rest. Then, thinking about all of this blog stuff I start to wonder; why would anybody, including me want to write about themselves. I already know everything that I've written down and I'm assuming that I'll have an outer audience ranging from zero to none...Sooooooo?

Anybody remember the comedian Jackie Vernon (deceased)? BTW...I'm not questioning whether or not he's deceased (he is), the question mark was was for the anybody remember Jackie part of the sentence. He labelled himself "King of the Dullards". And so as a way of paying hommage to Jackie, I'm going to sit and watch paint dry. I mean lay down some paint and sit and watch it dry. It'll make for an exciting event and I'll be doing real time, live coverage right here on this blog. See! Who the hell needs Wide World of Sports?

I'm setting this event date for Wednesday the 16 of June so you might want to check your schedules and set aside a few hours to watch the action. And for those of you who don't tune into this blog, you've got no idea of all the great stuff you're missing. Where else on the World Wide Web could you find another putz like me to bring you exciting, pithy events like the upcoming paint drying spectacular. I may even use three colors and turn it into a Triathalon!

A Fuel Efficient Hummer

Volcan Baru

Located in the Chiriqui Highlands. Purported to be an inactive volano but in reality it's just taking a nap.

Please...

Don't steal these photos. When I was trying to do this for a living I had people in all continents stealing my photos from my website. Sadly, they were able to make money money selling my photos than I could. Oh well...

Remember Tony the Tiger?

When he says that he doesn't want to use the Litter Box, you say "no problem". Also, one of my most often stole photos from my website. I found out there was some guy in an Asian country that I can't remember who was selling copies of this one in local markets and doing quite well and also claiming to be the author.

Sweet Face

About three years ago I took a trip to "Mi Casa Es Su Casa" in Boquete. Pretty flowers and grounds but nothing as pretty as her. One thing BTW that's always puzzled me: People often say "Dang. That warmed the cockles of my heart". What in the world is a heart cockle? What does one look like? What does it do? Okay...I'll do a Google search for Heart Cockles NOW!

Organic High Protein

Hmm...

Maybe I should give myself a slingful of aliases and praise the hell out of me.

One of my past entreprenurial endeavors was to corner the insect porn market. I wasted a ton of time and some money only to find out that insects don't have cash to satisfy their prurient interests. Notice how she's trying to hide her face from the camera? All she had to do was put on a pair of sunglasses.