The Real Truth

With the emergence now of the two political conventions, we the people of the United States of America are being fed the same old tired myths again. This fearless reporter has decided to expose these myths and at the cost of great personal danger has decided to give you my friends and loyal readers the real skinny.

Myth #1...Global Warming:
Global Warming is a complete sham. We need Global Warming. Who wants another Ice Age? Every year scores of folks move to Florida. Why? Because it's warm! How many people emigrate to the North Pole on a yearly basis? Few to none of course. Imagine a beautiful planet with one continuous Florida. Think of the money you'll save by no longer having to buy overcoats, long sleeve shirts, long johns.

Myth#2...Hybrid Cars:
Yup. They want you to think that this will stop our dependence on foreign oil. The reality is that this will cause a dependence on foreign electricity. The more plug in cars that are manufactured, the more electricity we'll be using to charge these cars on a daily basis. In no time a kilowatt hour will be selling for $10.00 or $20.00 per hour. The major oil producers are very aware of this and that's why they're reluctant to do any more offshore drilling. They have to put money aside now to buy digging equipment to unearth the coal necessary to feed these electric power plants.

Myth#3...Better Education:
Sure they want you to believe that we have to better educate our children to compete in this age of technology. With all theses technicians, who's left to pick up the garbage?

Myth#4...Health Care for All:
Too many healthy people leads to overpopulation which leads to food shortages. Need I say more?

There are many, many more myths and scams that are being perpetrated by both political parties and that's why I'm making this special, limited time offer to my constituency:

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