Saturday, November 22, 2008

Freedom of Speech

The other day an anonymous reader left a comment on one of my blogs calling me an idiot and a racist. Personally, I really couldn't care less about the opinion of Mr. or Mrs. anonymous but, I deleted the comment. Why you may ask? Were you offended? Upset? The answer is absolutely not. I'll give you the answer in a moment. But, the question is; am I an idiot or a racist? Well, according to the IQ scores, I hardly qualify for the former. As to the latter, our anonymous friend has absolutely no idea of my prejudices or biases. In reality, I consider myself to be an equal opportunity put down artist. I goofed as much (or more) on McCain as I did Barack Obama. Yet I didn't see our anonymous friend running to the aid of poor John and calling me an anti geriatric idiot.

What seems interesting to me is the fact that you had to scour over 100 posts and photos in order to find one so that you could vent.

Get a life schmuck :-). Created your OWN stupid blog.

Now as to the reason that I deleted your comment if it meant nothing to me. In America you have every right to your opinion. It's granted in the Constitution. It's called "Freedom of Speech". Now as for the reason I deleted your comment... BECAUSE I CAN!

Is the free enterprise system great or what?

Friday, November 21, 2008

Interesting...


Someone sent me a photo montage circulating on the web with various cute animal photos being shown while in the backround the Platters were singing "Only You". One of the photos which happens to be MINE (the one you see above) was part of the montage. It's so nice to have your work used without your permission.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Same Sex Marriage

Personally, I don't understand what the big deal is about same sex marriage. ALL marriages are SAME SEX! You get married, and every night it's the same sex.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Sunday, November 9, 2008

More Infinite Wisdom


It's not just the ups and downs that make life difficult, it's the jerks.

The reason most people are lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

If most people said what's on their minds, they'd be speechless.

How is it that people looking for a helping hand tend to overlook the one at the end of their arm?

There was a time when a preacher's Little Black Book was a Bible!

When most people put in their two cents worth, they are not overcharging.

Germs attack people where they're weakest-which is why there are so many head colds.

Most people don't act stupid-it's the real thing!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

My Concession Speech

My real good, very dear, wonderful and loyal friends:

Be ye not morose at our crushing defeat. Like the Phoenix, we shall once again rise from the ashes. Remember that the mighty Oak tree was once just a small Acorn. And next time, we're gonna use them Acorns as much as possible.

Let us use this time to heal the wounds and scars and stand behind (the bullets will probably come from the front) our new leader.

In summation I would ask that you stop wolfing down those Waffle House Home Fries. I spent a lot of money on this campaign and there's no need for me to spend more on you stuffing your faces.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Urgent Flash!!!!



As you all know, Obama is only half black. Well my dear friend, it appears that Obama has been trying to pull the wool over our eyes all this time. BUT...fortunately our hidden cameras caught this photo of the real Obama without all that phony makeup.

As your next President, I will NEVER resort to such chicanery as this!

(yeah sure)

Our Special Celebrity Endorsement and Entertainment


As you can see, I'm wearing my "attract the youth and black vote threads". I's even talking wit da ebonics. Yo's sees dat I'ma wearin' my shades an' I's got da bling blings.

Now we is gonna be sungs to by dat quintesential rapper 'Mastah Felon'. And da backup singers is the wunnerful 'Ebeneezer Evangelical New Christy Minstral Non Denominational Gospel Choir.'
(this should amuse those dolts)

Now he's da man ,
Cuz he gotta plan,
McCain be so old,
Dat he almost cold,
De udder guy,
Got caught in a lie.

(chorus by the choir)

Hail the Saviour,
Long may he reign,
With him there's no strife,
Let him run for life.

Okay Folks


We're down to the wire. Get out there and vote for me! Vote once. Vote twice. Vote as many times as you want for me! After all, it's your vote! You own it! Use it as many times as you wish! Join us tonight for our victory extravaganza at the Squirrel Hill Waffle House! All the Hash Brown you can Eat! Wow! Do you really want either of these two guys for your leader?

Monday, November 3, 2008

A Word from "The Saviour"

My Friends. My very, very, very friendly friends: Polls now show that we have zero percent of the vote. Great!! We have them exactly where we want them!

On another note, you've probably noticed that both of my opponents have celebrity endorsements and entertainment. Stay tuned tomorrow for our celebrity entertainment.

God bless you and God bless America and free the Lithuanian political prisoners.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Some Really, Really Great Quotes from "The Saviour"


"Ethanol is no good. We need the corn to feed the cows. Ca Ca is good. How many cows drink Prune Juice"?

"I love money and money loves me. Give me your money and I'll set you free".

"I will never say anything to dishearten you. I'll tell you anything that you want to hear".

"A war a day keeps the bad guys away".

"Bomb all your friends first. Then the bad guys will really be scared of us".

"No wasted money for medical attention for the really, really sick. They're just taking up valuable space".

"I come before you with absolutely no experience. Therefore I'm untainted by the Good Ol' Boy Network".

"A chicken in every pot and lots of Pot in every house".

My First Press Conference

Me: I want to you all you ladies and gentlemen of the press here today so that we can all better understand my policies and why especially in these troubled times it's so vital to our country that I become your Supreme Ruler or as some folks like to say, your Commander in Chief.

Okay, let's begin. You...the gentlemen with the specs and goofy plaid jacket; what's on your mind?

Reporter:
Sir you recently called John McCain an old geezer and Barack Obama a political manipulator. Don't you feel that kind of rhetoric is a bit harsh?

Me: No.
Not at all. Actually, my staff wanted me to call McCain an old fart but I declined because I want this to be a clean campaign.

Now on the Obama matter, first he said only those making over $250,000.00 would be taxed. Then it became $200,000.00. Then Biden said $150,000.00. Then then other day Bill Richardson said $120,000.00. Then Obama went back to $250,000.00.

Now I have it from extremely reliable sources that Obama intends to increase taxes to anybody earning more than $18.47 a year.


Me:
Okay, next question. You..you. The lovely lady with the outstanding set of twins. Hey honey! Sit on my lap and I'll let you sit in the Cabinet. Heh, heh. Ah...just joking folks. What good is a President without a sense of humor. Okay toots, fire away.

Reporter:
Sir. I find your economic tax plan to be rather confusing. You want to tax the lower and middle class and not tax the rich at all? Is that correct?

Me:
Right as rain sweety pie. Look...it's really simple. The lower and middle class spend no money and so they don't need any. The rich buy everything. Take away the buying power of the rich and the whole economy goes to pot. Got any? Pot I mean.

McCains got Joe the plumber to be his cry baby. Well folks let me read an email sent to me by my cry baby, Irving the Gynecologist: 'Dear Mr. Crap-O-Matic; I've been a Gynecologist for over twenty years and have enjoyed tremendous success. I make far more than $250,000.00 a year. Heck, that's just a drop in the bucket to me. If you increase my taxes I'll have to cut bak on my essential services. In other words...goodby stirrups and hello coat hangers. Now I don't want to do that but look; I can't give up the Rolls or the mansion or the Cessna. I can't stop pampering my kid and four wives but, somethings go to go! Keep up the good work Mr. Crap-O-Matic. You are our SAVIOUR'!

Yes folks Obama is The One and McCain is the Maverick and I am The Saviour. Now also I want you to check out our new Saviour arm bands. They're so much nicer than those silly buttons.

Me: Okay. I think I've answered enough questions a day so let me bid you adieu and check out those snazzy new arm bands (psst... Frank.Get the phone number of the babe with the twins and find out if she'd like to be Clintonized)




Our Snazzy New Armband