My Economic Plan to Save America

These are indeed dire times. Lehman Brothers has gone bankrupt. Merill lynch has been sold off because of economic insolvency. Housing foreclosures are the highest in history. Some economic pundits are even predicting another Great Depression!

And so...I feel duty bound to save the US of A from this economic meltdown. I have also enlisted the help of a great economic Guru. I have teamed up with the great economic advisor Charles Keating. Let me give all of you a little backround information about this great man.

Chuck is retired now and happily living in Arizona. Before his retirement however he was president and CEO of a great, patriotic financial institution Lincoln Saving and Loan Association. He's bosom buddies with hero John McCain and other great, patriotic notables.

Now for my plan to get us out of this financial morass:

First off there should be absolutely no taxes whatsoever for the rich and big corporations. They need all their money to stimulate our economy. After all, the more you have, the more you spend. Now the way to make up for this lost revenue is to tax the hell out of the poor and middle class. They have nothing and so they really have nothing to lose. Remember; nothing from nothing is nothing. The middle class don't need cars. They're too fat anyway and besides they're polluting the environment. Less money will force them to eat less and that way they'll be a lot healthier. Look...the people in China used to ride bicycles and they were thin and always smiling. Now with Chinas newfound wealth, everybody's driving cars and now they have a terrible pollution problem. They're starting to get fat too. Gone are the good old days when they graciously ate nothing but fisheads and rice. Now they only long for Surf and Turf.

The mortgage crisis:

If the middle and lower class didn't greedily think owning a house of their own was a right, there would be no mortgage crises. Whatever happened to the good old days when people lived in tents and could commune with nature? Middle class America, get back to your roots and learn once again to breath that good, outdoor fresh air.

So you see, there IS a simple solution to a simple problem.