Let's Help the Stock Market

Over the past week the stock market has sunk like a lead balloon and it appears that the bleeding hasn't stopped. Something has to be done. And fast!

Here's what I have in mind: Let's have a telethon for the stock market. Telethons are an oft used tool to aid the disadvantaged and right now our stock market is in dire need of our support. We could put ob a show and get people to send in pledges of money to be used to buy stocks and bring the market up to its former self. All you need is a bunch of entertainers to amuse the viewers, a few tear jerker commercials and a witty host. Now for the host I had in mind people like Pinky Lee or Marcel Marceau but sadly both of them are deceased. So who else out there could be silly and provide lots of laughs over a twenty hour period? Of course! George W. Bush!