Okay! Here We Go!!

My friend; my dear friends; my very dear friends; my very, very, dear friends and friends of my friends. I come to you today to declare my bid for president of the United States of America. I do this not lightly but, what else can I do. Let's take a close look at the other two choices. An old geezer and a political manipulator. I won't bore you with a long, tiresome monologue as I've already outlined my political agenda in prior posts. Now let's really examine the issues.

The other two both talk about change and I've already told you that with me at the helm, there will be absolutely no change at all. Just the same old crap. Why venture into the unknown. Why foster false hope. With me, you'll know exactly what to expect.; No surprises here.

As mentioned before, taxes will only be increased on the middle class and the lower class. I'm not going to take away money from those who spend it.

To combat corruption, I'll fill my staff with the biggest crooks that money can buy. Let's learn the tricks of the trade from the best of them.

With me you'll truly learn self reliance because you'll know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this president won't do a damn thing for you.

You'll learn how to live in totally recyclable cardboard houses. You'll learn as stated before how to mow lawns, rake leaves and prune shrubs. It may not be very fulfilling but at least you'll have a job.

You have my word that I'll be very well paid. After all you don't what a shabby looking president. DO YOU?

We'll have wars galore because in my humble opinion, "a war a day keeps the bad guys away". Let's start by nuking Great Britain. Bet that will surprise the the hell out of them. Of course they did nothing wrong but, we have to send a clear message to those countries that don't like us very much letting them know that we have no favorites and we're trigger happy.

In conclusion let me just say:

A VOTE FOR ME WILL SET YOU FREE!

A VOTE FOR ME WILL SET YOU FREE!

EEHAW (courtesy of Howard Dean)